Treatment experience

I still remember that day when I was working as a tour guide for a group from China. As I was enthusiastically giving out information about the scenery of the Pacific Ocean viewed from Chihsingtan Beach in Hualien County, the Chinese tour guide pulled me to the side and told me that a number of tourists from the group are concern about the red scaly patches on my arm. They think the skin looks revolting and are worried it might be contagious. The next thing I knew, I was replaced. I felt powerless and humiliated, and my pride was instantly destroyed. It was pouring that day, and I walked back to the bus without carrying an umbrella. I was soaked but no one came to help me. I felt abandoned by everybody on the bus. I left after collecting all my belongings from the bus. No one came to say goodbye, perhaps, because they did not wish to see me again.

I have suffered from psoriasis for 12 years. I know it is incurable. I already have a wife and children, and the condition never really bothered me, so I’ve never consider getting proper treatment. The small lesions progressively expanded to covering large part of my body. The condition improved after seeking treatment but I never try to look after it, and only sought treatment when it worsened. I have been back and forth to the doctor’s; it is like living a nightmare. I even started believing that it is karma for sins that I have committed.

Living with psoriasis has a huge emotional toll on me, especially to my self-confidence. Although I tell people that it doesn’t bother me, honestly, it does. When I go shopping, people put the change on the counter so that I pick it up myself. When I eat with people, friends who don’t know me well would keep their food and utensils away from me to ensure that my skin does not flake off into their bowls. I haven’t shaken hands with people for many years because I used to have to explain to people about my condition. Now I just don’t bother anymore. At work, I sometimes have to share a room with coach drivers, and most drivers would change to another room the next day because they are afraid they might catch my disease. It really saddens me. I have not worn short sleeves or shorts for the past six years, even in the scorching summer and when I feel torturously hot from my skin inflammation. It is so frustrating. There is also a secret that even my family doesn’t know. My wife and I have been sleeping separately for almost seven years. I sleep on the couch with a sheet covering it. It is affecting our relationship, we are no longer close like before, and I cannot imagine what our marriage will be like in the future.

This incident was a wakeup call. I went to the hospital to seek treatment for my psoriasis. My condition has improved significantly after treatment and I am certain that it will return to normal after three months. Although it is incurable, I will no longer neglect my condition. I will deal with it with patience and confidence for the rest of my life.

The author is the first Psoriasis Ambassador Mr. Liang.